Sleepless Again
by Groundswell
Summary: Lily haven't talked to James since she two nights ago kissed him in the common room. But she wants to talk to him, and hopes that somehow he will know that she sits in the common room again, only hoping for him to show up.


_A/N: Nothing really is mine. This is kind of a second part of my other story, Sleepless. You don't need to read it to be reading this._

**Sleepless Again**

It was a guess really. Truth be told, I had no idea if he was going to show. But I counted on it. Why would he leave such a thing? I had wanted to talk to him yesterday, but we had no classes together, and in the evening, he'd been gone, guys' night, I knew. Then today, I had checked their dorm, but it was empty. They weren't there, and in classes there was no sign of them either. I hadn't dared going up there later, seeing I wanted to talk to him in private, and that wasn't going to happen if Sirius was around. That's why I sat in this couch. The same couch as I, two nights ago, had kissed James Potter, and then left him with very few words and no explanation.

I blinked drowsily and scooted further down in the couch. The fire had long died, and the darkness was making it harder for me to stay awake.

I think he got it though. James wasn't stupid. He knew I never did anything unless I was certain in the consequences. He also knew that even though I had acted a bit mysteriously, I would have to have this problem solved. And that's why I sat here. Hoping he would get it, then come down. I might come to sit here for a long time, but I truly hoped.

I let my head fall sideways onto the armrest, blinking slowly.

*

I blinked suddenly. My head shot up as I realised I'd been asleep. My eyes landed on the figure right in front of the couch, and I could make out a person sitting there. I blinked a few times.

"James?" I asked hoarsely.

He said nothing, but just studied me. I rubbed my eyes a few seconds and then looked at him again. It was him. I slowly sat up, and I felt something halfway around me – a blanket I realised.

"What...?" I asked, touching it softly.

"You looked to be cold," he said.

I looked at him. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he said easily. He leaned slightly forward, placing his elbows on his knees, looking at me through his glasses. "What are you doing down here?" he asked.

"What are _you_ doing down here?" I asked him back.

"Touché," he said with a faint smile.

We studied each other a few seconds. Slowly he got up from the chair, sitting down beside me instead. He leaned backwards, placing both of his arms on the backrest.

"I hoped to find you here," he said without looking at me.

I turned my whole body so I was facing him, but he just looked at the wall. "You did?"

"Yeah."

I smiled faintly. "And I hoped you'd come down here. That's why I was here."

He glanced at me, smiling. He looked as if wanting to say something, but then turned away again. He slowly licked his lips and then sighed.

"I didn't believe it entirely at first," he said slowly.

I frowned at him. "What?"

"That you kissed me," he answered with a shrug, looking at me. "But yesterday when I thought back... It wasn't just a dream. It could have been, but it was too real."

"Yeah." I smiled.

He took a deep breath, scooting a bit down in the couch. I watched him closely as well as the slightly tired lines of his face. He hadn't been sleeping much the last few nights.

"Where were you in class today?" I asked.

"Here and there." He was still looking straight out.

"That's not an answer."

He glanced at me quickly again, a smile playing his lips. "I think it is."

I rolled my eyes, but he did not see. I kept looking at him as I spoke next. "It was a full moon last night."

"True," he said without blinking.

I bit my lower lips softly a few seconds, studying him closely, but he showed no signs of anything. I curled my legs up under me and pulled the blanket closer.

"I know about Remus."

He blinked, his eyes flashing out the window for a second. Then he nodded slightly. "Yeah, figured. You're smart."

I had given this a lot of thought, but never dared to ask him. Now was it, I just had to drive him where I wanted.

"So answer me this," I said in a voice close to a whisper. "How can you have a guys' night when he's... um, not capable to join you?"

He looked at me. "Ask me no questions and I won't have to lie to you. I hate lying to you, Evans." He looked away again.

I could see the facade he usually kept, slowly tumbling down. The other night he'd acted all cool, and I knew it was something he did when he was trying to be (or already was), in control of a situation. It was coming down, and he knew it just as well as I, so he tried harder to keep it up.

"James, do you know what happens if something goes wrong? He's not the Remus you know at full moon. He could kill you without knowing it."

"Evans, don't bother." He looked out of the window.

"I'm not stupid, _Prongs_," I almost hissed. "I don't know what it is you're doing, but whatever it is, I want you to stop! I doubt very much that it's legal, and-"

Before I could say another word he'd turned to me again, placed a hand over my mouth, and with his body pushed me backwards so I almost lay down in the couch. His eyes were flashing with a feeling I had never seen before. It wasn't anger, as I first had thought; it wasn't fright, it wasn't mischief. It wasn't a feeling I knew off.

"Please," he begged in a whispered. "I know it's your job to be the mother and try to take care of everyone else, Evans, but I don't need that. We know what we're dealing with, so don't try to save us."

He studied me a few seconds, his eyes flashing between mine, and I suddenly realised what the feeling was. It was a big mixture of passion, loyalty, and love. Whatever it was it was something he felt strongly about, and something I had yet to understand. It was a deeper feeling than anything else.

He slowly removed his hand from my mouth, sliding it to my cheek instead. He simply studied me, maybe waiting for me to say something. Before answering I leaned back in the couch, watching him closely as his body followed mine. I breathed in unsteadily.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt," I whispered and breathed out again.

He suddenly smiled. "Don't worry about it."

"How can I not?"

"Trust me."

I swallowed. "I do."

"Really?"

With a smile he pressed his lips to mine a short second. I nearly groaned loud when he pulled away. He looked at me with raised eyebrows. I forgot a second, I actually was to give him an answer.

"Yes," I whispered then.

He smiled wider. With two fingers he pushed a strand of hair away from the side of my face.

"Thanks."

I said nothing, but instead I slowly raised a hand, letting my fingers trace the side of his face ever so lightly, barely touching his skin. I slowly let my hand run through his hair, stopping at his neck. Meanwhile we just looked at each other, barely blinking.

"By the way..." he said, "I have a bone to pick with you."

I raised my eyebrows. "Is that so?"

"You can't ever just leave me like you did the other night. It's quite rude actually."

"Well, I left you yearning for more, didn't I?" I muttered. "And it worked, correct?"

He smiled softly. "Yes," he muttered, pressing his lips against the skin of my neck.

A tremble ran down my spine, but I didn't let it show, except the sharp intake of air I involuntarily let pass. I knew he was smiling. He kissed me one more time.

"So," he said, rising to his elbows, "what have you been doing the last two days?"

I grinned at his sudden change of topic. "Nothing really."

"Thinking about me?"

I shrugged. "A bit. I have other important things in my life."

"I doubt that very much," he said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes at him. He smiled that special smile that easily reached his eyes, before rolling off of me, onto his side. With all his attention on it, he took a soft hold of a strand of my hair, starting to twist it around his finger.

"So..." I muttered.

His eyes flashed to me for a second. "So what?"

I bit my lower lip, looking away. I wasn't going to ask him about it. I was too shy to do that kind of stuff. I had to make him.

"Why did you even think I'd be down here?" I asked, turning back to our previous topic.

His lips curved ever so slightly. "I simply hoped. Knowing you, I'm pretty sure there's something you want to talk to me about."

"Correct," I muttered.

He looked at me. "Go ahead."

"I'd rather not," I said, turned a bit away from him on the couch.

He chuckled softly. "I can do it too."

If we'd been facing each other he would have seen me blush, yet smile. But I said nothing. He wasn't going to win that easy.

"Okay, so I have a question for you," he said, stroking my neck softly with a few fingers.

I turned only enough for me to see his face. "Yeah?"

He nodded. "So this Hogsmeade weekend is coming up... and I was wondering if you were doing something there?"

"Like going to Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah. But maybe you'd like to go with me?"

I sighed deeply. "I guess I could do that."

I turned away again, but only after seeing a smile form on his lips. I smiled too, laying my head down on the armrest. Very slowly, as if afraid of doing something wrong, he placed his arm around my waist, pressing me a bit closer. Slowly I slid my hand inside of his, intertwining our fingers.

"The meaning of life," he suddenly muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"You asked me about it the other night, remember?" For every word he spoke I could feel his warm breath on my neck. "And I promised you to tell it as soon as I found out, right?"

"Yeah," I said. "But it's got to be the true meaning."

"I think I've found it."

"Is that so? What is it?"

"This."

I turned ever so slightly. "This?"

"Yeah, just laying here. Side by side with a special someone."

I smiled. "I'm a special someone?"

"The most special someone."

He kissed me right below my ear and then he scooted down on the couch, coming on level with me. I suddenly chuckled. A few seconds passed.

"What?" he asked.

I was smiling. "We're spooning," I stated.

"You're clever," he noted.

I thought back. What had made me kiss James the other night, I wasn't entirely sure about. But I knew it had something to do with the weird feeling I'd had in my stomach the last few weeks. And when he said he wasn't a quitter... Then I was sure.

"Three days ago I would have laughed at the bare thought." I smiled, looking down at our hands. "But it actually feels nice."

"Yeah..." He took a deep breath, but said nothing more.

"Are you tired?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Like hell," he said with a slight chuckle. "You?"

"Oh yeah."

I could feel him about to get up behind me, rising to his elbows, but I grabbed his hand. "No," I whispered, making him stop. "Please stay."

"Okay," he murmured and lay down again.

I sighed deeply and closed my eyes. "Just wait a few more minutes."

"I can do that."

I blinked drowsily and scooted closer to him, feeling his heartbeat faintly through both of our shirts. I heard his silent breathing and felt it softly in my hair. It was very comforting.

*

"Holy Merlin!"

The voice ruined the silence of the early morning. Frowning, I tried to turn away from the voice, but somehow it was impossible. I gave it up, and simply tried to block out the voices of the girls in my dorm.

"Is that-?"

"Oh yeah."

That's when I realised it wasn't girls' voices. I yawned and stretched. At the same time someone moved next to me. Startled by the person next to me, I rolled away from the someone, but fell over the edge of the bed and landed on the floor. I sat up, looking around. I squinted in the sunlight from the windows. I covered my eyes a few seconds, and when having gotten used to the bright light, I removed them again.

"This isn't the girls' dorm," I croaked.

"No, because Prongs is not allowed up there."

I turned, finding Sirius, Remus, and Peter staring at me. I blinked, rubbing my eyes. I looked at the couch from which I'd fallen and saw the figure of James, also awakening at the moment. Then it dawned to me. James and I in the night. And we'd fallen asleep there. I looked back at the others. Sirius was smirking.

"What?" I bit.

He chuckled. The same second James sat up behind me, looking around as if not completely understanding where he was (which probably was the case too). He messed up his hair and yawned. He looked at me.

"What am I doing down here?" he asked. Apparently he wasn't very bright in the morning.

"Spooning with Evans," Sirius smirked.

James and I both looked at him.

"What?" Remus grinned.

"When?" Peter asked.

"They were spooning," Sirius said again, the smirk only growing.

I slowly got up from the floor, sitting on the couch next to James.

"So?" James asked.

I turned to him. "They didn't know?"

He shrugged easily. "I didn't know if there was anything to tell just yet."

"What?" Sirius asked. "Look, mate, you can't go spooning someone without telling us why. Or without permission."

James and I exchanged dark glances. I slowly got up.

"This is your problem, Potter."

"You can't just leave me!"

I looked at him shortly. "I can. And trust me when I say, that my four problems up in the dorm, is a little bit worse than your three down here."

He grinned. "I bet," he said.

"Maybe I'll see you down here another night," I said with a smile, turning slightly.

"Yeah, maybe."


End file.
